iHave a Dirty Little Secret
by osnapitzali
Summary: After seeing something suspicious while filming iCarly, Freddie confronts Sam about his suspicions. What is this "secret" Sam has? Is it bad? Is it good? Does Freddie FINALLY have the dirt he needs to get back at Sam forever? To find out, read and review!
1. Chapter 1: Exposed

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly or Seddie or any of the characters in this fic. But, I do own this story and the whole plot of it. NO STEALING!!!!! ^_^**

**Spoilers: Minor spoilers from iThink They Kissed. Just a reference to the group's promise. **

**A/N: Hey, yall. For those of you who don't know me, I'm psycheer330!!!!! ive had 2 other accounts on here, but i lost those passwords, so, yeah. This fic is to break in my new account. YAY!!! It's only a oneshot. I'm not planning to turn it into a chapter fic. I might do a sequal if it's requested...MIGHT. **

**I got the idea for this fic when I learned more about this particular subject and started wondering "i wonder what it would be like if Sam was like that". I did a little searching on here and found no stories on it and so I decided to create the idea. (I probably didn't create it, but I might have brought it to the FanFic world!)**

**So, the story is basically about Freddie becoming concerned about Sam when he finds out a dirty little secret about her. I am a total Seddie (Sam + Freddie pairing) shipper, but surprisingly, this fic focuses more on their relationship growing and less of a romantic look. But, still, I would do a sequal!!!!!**

**IMPORTANT BEFORE READING THE FIC:  
The story starts just after an iCarly was shot. Basically, while they were "random dancing" or something like thatm Freddie sees something. After Sam and Freddie are left in the iCarly studio once the show is over, he confronts her about it. Read to see what happens and what that dirty little secret is!!!**

**Enjoy! **

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Chapter 1:  
Exposed  
(if you haven't already, PLEASE read the Author's Note above before reading the fic!!! thanks and enjoy ^_^)

"Sam, look, when we were filming iCarly last…I saw something," Freddie said. He looked down, put his hands into his pockets, and began pacing around the room slowly, waiting the question he knew was coming.

Sam took a step towards him and asked, "Saw what?"

Freddie looked up to see Sam staring with a suspicious look at him. He wasn't exactly sure what to say but knew any words would probably end in injury. So, he took a breath and let it all out.

"When we were filming iCarly…" he stopped his pacing and paused for a second. Sam was still just glaring at him, inpatients growing in her eyes.

"You saw something; I Get It! Go on…what did you see?" she demanded as she shifted all her weight to one foot and crossed her arms.

Freddie slipped his hands back into his pockets, hesitated, but eventually went on. "One time when you raised your arms, your sleeve went down, and…I saw…cut marks on your wrists."

He shut his eyes tight, waiting for the attack he usually got from Sam after making a remark. Strangely enough, Freddie didn't get anything except a continuous glare from a speechless Sam.

There was an awkward silence for what seemed like forever, but eventually it was broken by that one little comment Sam always seems to have. "What are you accusing me of, cutting myself?"

"No! I mean, I'm wondering. I'm not accusing you of doing anything, but you always wear long sleeves and sometimes you act all depressed and lately you have been sure to keep your sleeves rolled down. I just wanted to make sure you weren't…hurting yourself."

He also added, "Please don't kill me," and crossed his arms over his face.

Nothing happened at all. Freddie let his guard down slowly and just stared across the room at Sam. She was doing nothing; just staring back with that speechless expression people get when they really just don't want to know in a situation.

After about a minute, Freddie took the floor and said, "Um, never mind. I'm stupid…blah blah blah. I know you don't self harm. Just…making sure."

Sam still stood there, still staring, same expression. Once Freddie saw nothing was coming, he turned around and headed for the door of the studio, hands in pockets. He was about to open the door and leave when Sam asked, "Are we friends?"

Freddie pivoted to look at her. She was still standing the same way, except now Sam had her arms crossed as well.

"What?" Freddie asked befuddled.

"What I mean is: do you consider me one of your friends?"

Freddie opened his mouth to speak but once again could not find the words. However, he managed to let out a reply. "I told you at your birthday party. No matter what we go through, I still consider us close friends."

There was another awkward moment.

"Where did that come from? That question?" he continued.

"Can I trust you?" she asked, again out of nowhere.

"OK, what's with the twenty questions?" he asked.

"Just answer, please!"

"Yes! OK? Yes! You can trust me! Now, seriously…WHAT is it with these random friendship questions?"

Sam looked down at the ground, seeming sad and depressed. She said, "We all promised not to keep secrets from each other anymore," she looked up, still seeming depressed, "but there are some secrets I just can't admit, even to myself…and you just guessed one of them."

Yet another silence. This time, Freddie could not choke out any words, so he waited for Sam to continue.

"I do cut myself."

Tears actually began rolling down her cheeks, and she ran out of the room in a flash. Once out the door, Freddie called, "Sam, wait!"

He followed until catching up only seconds later, grabbing her arm before she was able to take that first step down the stairs. Sam was still crying, not very much, but just enough to make it obvious that she needed comfort.

Freddie, not really knowing what to do, stood staring for a while, but eventually went to put his arm around her, offering comfort. Surprising him, she took it.

They both just stood there in the dark hallway, Sam in Freddie's arms as the minutes ticked by. After a while, she slowly pulled away and tried her best to freeze her tears.

When he felt it was ok to speak, he asked, "How long?"

Sam, who was now against the glass of the door, slid down to sit against the door, and Freddie did the same. She replied, "Started about a month ago."

"Why?"

"Stress."

He made that little sign for her to elaborate. Sam sighed, and continued, "I just got so tired of EVERYTHING. My family is always comparing me to my sister. I get in trouble at school all the time for things I both do and don't do. All the fights. I mean, you and Carly are my only friends…"

"…we are?"

"Well, everyone else hates me. I get into fights all the time; always getting the blame. I guess I've…just been blamed on things so many times, I started to believe it all."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know. But, starting about a month ago, I started asking myself if…I was truly needed; if, maybe, I was only hurting people by living."

"That's just ridiculous. You don't hurt anyone."

"Oh, yeah?! Then why do I have so many people hating me and blaming things on me. Why does everyone hear the name 'Sam Puckett' and think of violence and nothing good." Freddie couldn't think of a reply. "Why do I always hurt you?"

"Well, only you can answer that last one. Why?"

Tears, once again, tumbled from her eyes. "I don't know! I just don't know! All I DO know is that I do these things. And…whenever I do, I cut myself and it all makes me feel better…it makes me feel like I can handle the stress." Another silence. "It makes me feel that, if I'm hurting people, I'm at least being punished for the things I do."

"Sam! You don't need to punish yourself! These things may happen but it does not make everything bad that happens your fault!"

Now it was Sam's turn to take this all in.

"Just promise me you'll STOP it!" he begged.

"I don't make promises that I can't keep."

"Then…promise me you'll TRY to stop," he continued.

"It's not that simple. I'm…."in too deep". Every time it hurts, I feel like I have to cut. It's like an addiction." Her voice got lower.

"Please. Give me some peace of mind and promise me you'll at least try."

Hesitantly, she said, "I promise, but you have to promise me to never tell Carly."

"It's not my place to tell Carly. You can tell her when you're ready."

"That's just the thing…I never will be ready, and I don't think she will ever be ready either for this……'news'."

"Well, hopefully it'll all be done with before she does find out," Freddie said, standing up.

"She's not going to find out because _you're_ the only one that knows and _you're_ going to keep it all secret, right?" she asked while standing up as well.

"….right," he replied.

"Good," she replied and walked down the hall ahead of him. The conversation was simply left at that, another secret kept between the two from Carly

The weekend passed on with no word of the two to each other. However, on Monday at school before homeroom started, Sam found a minute alone with Freddie.

She said, "I thought about what you said."

He looked down at her, a sense of relief in his mind.

"Keep this away from me?" She held out her fist and slowly uncurled her fingers. In them was a bloody razor head, _her _bloody razor head. Strangely enough, Freddie was not surprised or disgusted with this or the gesture. He simply took it in his fist and put his arm down to his side.

The bell to homeroom rang, and with reassuring stares, they went their separate ways to homeroom. Before Freddie took that step through the door, he slipped the razor into his back pocket, locking it away along with Sam's dirty little secret.

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****

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed my little oneshot. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write a comment to this!!! I take almost all comments! If you liked/loved it please tell me so. If you want a sequal (maybe to where Carly finds out) then let me know and feel free to give me some ideas. If I did something you don't like in my story then please tell me so and WHY. The only comments I don't approve of are the hater comments. If you didn't like it, that's fine. But, I don't need a hater comment telling me how you hated the story, but doesn't even scratch the surface about why you hated it/how I can fix my mistakes.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading. Please stay tuned for more. I 3 you all!!! R&R!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!

Happy Reading,  
PSYCHEER330 3 3 3


	2. Chapter 2: Dropped

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly or any characters in this fic. But, I do own the story and plot so HANDS OFF!!!**

**Spoilers: nothing particular in this chapter, but the first chapter has a spoiler from iKiss.**

**A/N: Hey, yall!!! Well I'd like to thank all the people who read my first chapter!!! So, far I have 546 hits and 533 visitors for chapter 1 of iHave a Dirty Little Secret. To me that is absolutely AMAZING. I've had readers for this fic from many countries (not bragging but I'm so proud of myself lol. sorry if it seems like I'm bragging. no intention of that). But even with over 500 readers I still only had 8 reviews so PLEASE read and REVIEW this!!! I want both positive and negative reviews as long as the negative ones tell me what I need to fix and how to fix it!**

**This chapter goes out to all my first reviewers: JamestheGreater, XxVampRomancexX, LoV3 C0nV3rSe, sockstar, Invader Johnny, AlwaysDreamingAway, NatyRox97, and KPFan72491. This also goes out to all the people who Faved and Alerted any of my fics!!! **

**I know this is a rather short chapter, but I wanted to see if it'd work as a chapter fic. Tell be what you think of the direction it's headed in. If not, I might change it somehow. Thanks a mill.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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_

Chapter 2:  
Dropped

_A week had passed since Freddie found out about Sam's secret. Sam was trying her best to stop, but it was a continuous struggle for her. Freddie, on the other hand, had no trouble keeping the secret. _

One day after school, Freddie walked into the Groovy Smoothie's and saw Carly and Sam sitting by themselves laughing. Like any other day, he simply walked up to them and sat down.

"Hey, Freddie!" Carly exclaimed, smile growing on her face.

"Hey, guys. What's going on?" he asked, putting his backpack on the floor and sitting down.

"Nothing really. Sam was just telling me this hilarious story about her cat."

They both looked at Sam, waiting for this "hilarious" story to be told. However, she didn't say anything. She just went on slurping her smoothie.

Freddie took a moment to try to decode this behavior. He knew Sam better than he made out, and he knew it was not like her at all to act all depressed the way she was.

"Hey, Carly, can you go get me a something to drink please?" he asked, handing Carly a few dollars and keeping his eyes on Sam the whole time.

Carly took the money, cheery smile still on face, and asked, "Sure! What kind?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Ok, then," and as fast as it was said, Carly was across the shop standing in the long line for the counter.

"Ok, Sam, what's up? You and I both know it's not like you to be acting this 'depressed'," he asked, leaning in closer across the table towards Sam.

She had her arms crossed on the table now and was looking down at them. Her fingers were shaky, and her eyes actually had a worried expression.

"I'm trying to stop," she whispered, "but I just can't get the thoughts out of my head. The stress is too much." Now she was looking down, hands covering her head.

"Well, did you ever try those reversal techniques?" he asked.

"What are those?"

"Things to take the place of cutting, like snapping a rubber band on your wrist or crushing and ice cube in your fist."

"I don't know, but this stress is eating me alive. I keep worrying about Carly finding out," she explained.

"Maybe it's best if you talk to someone. There are a lot of people out there whose job is to talk to you about this kind of stuff," he suggested.

Sam pounced across the table, grabbed Freddie with both fists by the shirt, and practically yelled, "Listen here, Benson. You _promised_ you wouldn't tell ANYONE ANYTHING! If you spill this secret, the next morning you will eake up very confused _under water! _**GOT IT?**"

Freddie just gave a simple nod, eyes petrified with fear. Sam then dramatically let go of his shirt by pushing him back, and sat back down.

* * *

"Hey, come here and check this out," Freddie told Carly. "It's this insane video some kids sent to us for iCarly."

Freddie and Carly were up in the iCarly studio hanging out. Time was lost, so Freddie forgot his curfew.

"_FREDDIE BENSON!" _he heard his mom calling from downstairs.

"Oh, man! I was supposed to be home a while back. My mom is probably downstairs ready to kill me!" Freddie said hurriedly.

"Come on. What is the worst she can do?" Carly asked.

"Last time I was late getting home, she had the cops over at my house. Once the cops left after a half hour of interrogation about my whereabouts, she locked my bedroom door every night for two weeks!" he replied, rapidly gathering his phone, iPod and other things he had brought. "See you tomorrow," he called on this way out.

Carly then noticed he was forgetting his Flash Drive, picked it up and yelled out, "Hey, wait! You're forgetting your…" she went to grad his jacket, but stopped midsentence when something dropped out of his pocket. She picked it up. "You forgot your razor?"

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**Well, I hope you liked it. Be sure to comment. Like it? Tell me so I'll keep going! Didnt like it? How can I make you like it? Hater commenter? Keep your opinions to yourself!!! Tell me if you like the direction this fic is headed in. If not, I'll probably change it. Got any ideas? PLEASE let me know! I love ideas from the readers, and you'll get 100% credit!!!**

**Until next chapter, Happy reading,  
~Psycheer330~**


	3. Chapter 3: Stutter

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, but I own this story. So, hands off!!!**

**Spoilers: Nothing for this chapter, but iKiss and iThink They Kissed, but those were in earlier chapters. Plus, what Seddie fan HASN'T seen those two? I mean, seriously!!!**

**A/N: Here's chapter 3!!! Sorry it's so short, but I'm writing this when I have no time. Just something for my readers to nibble on before I give you the next chapter. Remember to always read and review. Also, check out my other story called iSaw the Video. It has a lot more "Seddie Fluff" intended. **

**This chapter goes out to xXVampRomancexX. She writes some really good Seddie stories on here and also non-seddie stories. So, be sure to check those out!!! /~xxvampromancexx is the link to her profile.**

**Enjoyyy**

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Chapter 3  
Stutter

Carly stood there still loosely gripping the razor. Thoughts were running a mile a minute in her head.

_Why does Freddie have a razor in his pocket? _

_Is Freddie, like, hurting himself? _

_Why _would _Freddie even hurt himself? _

_Is it because I'm rejecting him? _

_Is Sam giving him too much of a hard time?_

All of this was too much for Carly to handle at the same time. The razor fell out of her hands to the floor, and she stared on. Not moving. Not thinking. Not believing.

Carly walked downstairs a few minutes later, secretly clutching the razor in her pocket.

"Hey, Kido. Freddie had to go somewhere with his mom. Left about ten minutes ago," Spencer said from the kitchen to Carly as she walked down the stairs.

"Ok, that's cool," Carly replied, not paying attention. She was only interested in what she was doing. She walked over to her purse and slipped the razor into one of the inner pockets. At this point, Carly was thinking _I'll do anything to get rid of this….thing. _She couldn't even say the word.

"So, what're you doing?" Spencer asked, walking toward her.

"NOTHING! Wh would I be doing anything?! Why would I _want _to do anything? What do you think I'm doing…?" she replied in a haste, but was cut off by Spencer.

"Hey, hey! Calm down. I just saw you with your purse, and I was wondering if you were going out. If you were, I was wondering if you could pick up some stuff for me," he said, pulling a list out of his back pocket.

"Oh, sure. Yeah, I can do that."

He handed her the list and asked, "You ok?"

"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be….?" She was cut off again.

"Let's not go through that whole thing again. You're ok. See you in a few," he replied with a smile.

"See, ya!"

She walked out the door, purse in hand, and a relieved look on her face.

"Hey, you dropped something," Spencer told her.

"It's not mine!!! I SWEAR!!!" she yelled in a panic.

"Um, Carly, it's pretty and all, but I don't remember buying myself a pink cell phone," Spencer replied while holding up Carly's pink iPhone.

Carly gave a little laugh while saying, "Oh, right! My cell phone. Yeah, I'll probably need it if I'm going out." She continued the whole fake laughing thing until she was out the door and down the hall.

"Kids these days," Spencer laughed and returned to work.

"Sam, wait!" Carly yelled as the bell rang.

It was the next day at school. The bell had just rung for everyone to go to homeroom.

"We're going to be late for…. Wait, why do I care? Go on," Sam replied.

"I think we have a problem in out 'group'," Carly explained.

"What do you mean by problem?" Sam asked, a bit confused.

Carly pulled the razor out of her purse and held it up for Sam to see.

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**Well, ya'll, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Once again, I'm sorry it was so short, but I'm kind of in a hurry. Um, read and review, all that good stuff. I'll upload the next chapter once this story reaches...hmm...35 reviews. So, review, tell your friends. and give me, suggestions!!! Oh, yeah! I take suggestion, like if you wanted me to add CarlyxGibby or something like that, I could try to fit some in. lol.**

**Until next time...Happy Reading**

**~PSYCHEER330~**


	4. Chapter 4: Blamed

**Disclaimer: Don't own iCarly**

**Spoilers: none**

**A/N: Here's chapter 4. Sorry it took a while. I really don't want to be one of those author's who only updates once every few weeks, but my computer completely crashed the other day. I'm getting a new one in the next couple weeks (right now I'm on my dad's laptop). Here's chapter 4. It starts off right where chapter 3 ended...in the halls with the conversation between Sam and Carly. Will a secret be let out? Will Carly go tell people other than Sam? All I can tell is there's a pretty big Seddie moment at the end!**

**Enjoy =)**

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Chapter 4  
Blamed

"What is that?" Sam asked. Her heart was now beating twice as fast as it should.

"It doesn't matter what it is. The point is that we need it to stop!" Carly said, now getting a bit angry.

"Look. I swear it all stopped!" Sam promised.

Carly slowly turned around to face Sam and said, "You _knew _about this?"

Sam was a bit confused now and asked, "Wait. Where did you get that from?"

"It doesn't matter, but the point is that we have to start being nicer to Freddie," Carly said, her face looking more sincere.

"What does Freddie have to do with….oh my God." Sam's voice got softer as she realized what she had gotten Freddie into.

"Huh?" Carly asked.

"Nothing…go on…" Sam said, voice still pretty low.

"Ok, well we have to be nicer to Freddie, let's just say."

"You think Freddie would actually cut himself?" Sam asked.

"_Shhhhh! _Not so loud, and yes, I do think that. I mean, why else would he have a razor in his pocket?" Carly asked.

"Trust me, I think you have it all wrong," Sam tried to assure her.

"_Razor _I his _pocket_!!!!"

"Maybe he finally got hair to shave!" Sam continued.

"There's dried blood on it!"

"Maybe he cut himself shaving…as in on _accident_!"

"No one had _this _much blood on a razor from cutting themselves _accidentally_," Carly concluded, putting up air-quotes around 'accidentally'.

"_Shhhhh! _Take your own advice, and be quiet when talking about a razor!" Sam commanded.

"Fine…" Carly crossed her arms. "Let's just go to class. I'll talk to Freddie later."

"Wait!" Sam yelled out. "Give me the….razor," she whispered.

"What? No!"

"Yes! If I get caught with it at school, it'll be no big deal, and my mom wouldn't care. If you get caught, your life would literally be over."

Carly looked at the razor in her hand, then put it in Sam's. They walked to class silently, both thinking on this subject.

* * *

The two girls walked up to Carly's apartment door. Just s they were walking in, Sam said, "Oh, wait! I forgot my bag in the elevator. I'll be right back."

"You want some help?" Carly asked.

"No thanks, I got it. Oh! Also, remember not to tell Spencer anything about Freddie."

"Don't worry. I'm not."

Once Carly closed her apartment door, Sam went to Freddie's door, knocked, and whispered, "Freddie! Freddie!"

He opened the door. When he was about to walk out, Sam pushed him into through the doorway and slammed the door shut.

"What was_ that_?!" he practically yelled.

"That was saving you s lot of trouble," Sam said. She stood up and helped Freddie up as well.

"How are you saving me trouble exactly?"

"By giving this back to you." She threw the razor into his hands.

"How did you get this?!" he asked in an alarmed voice.

"Carly found it after you dropped it," she answered. "I got her to let me hold onto it, but at this point she thinks you are the cutter."

"This isn't very good…is it?" he asked.

"Of course it isn't! I got her to keep quiet about it, but who knows how long that'll be for. Knowing Carly, the secret and the guilt will eat her alive be tomorrow. She'll _have _to tell someone," Sam replied.

"Sam, I promised I wasn't going to rat you out…I meant it," Freddie promised, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Feeling uncomfortable, she shook his hands off and asked, "Ok, so how are we going to cover all this up?"

Freddie put his hands into his pockets and walked in around the room. "I guess I'll just tell Carly the razor's mine before she goes and tells someone who doesn't need to know."

"I can't let you do that," Sam said, taking a step towards him.

"Well, I'm not going to rat anyone out. I'll think of some random excuse for having the razor in my pocket," Freddie replied.

"Why would you do that?" she asked.

"Because….I don't know. I guess, no matter how much we may fight, I still think of you as my friend." They smiled at each other, and Sam left to go back to Carly's place.

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**I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! It's my favorite so far!!! If you read my fanfic called iSaw the Video, I'm sorry I haven't gotten that last part up yet, but iy'll be up before Thursday, I promise!!! If you don't read it, then you really should =DDD It's about Freddie finding a video his mom took of iKiss, and Sam sees it. And, well, let's just say there's some awkward conversation in there.**

**Once again, review!!!! You know my policy on reviewing. No hater comments unless it gives me advice on how to fix my mistakes. Review, alert, and favorite =)**

**Until next time  
Happy Reading,**

**~PSYCHEER330~ 3 3**


	5. Chapter 5: Battle

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None for this chapter.**

**A/N: Here's chapter 5!!! I spent an hour editing it and making it the _perfect _chapter for ya'll!!! I have to say this is my FAVORITE chapter yet. I know I said that about the last one, but I take it back. This one was the most fun to write. I'll let you know why after you finish reading the chapter just so I don't ruin anything for you. This takes place right as Sam is walking back into Carly's apartment. What goes on? All I can say is a bery interesting conversation. **

**This chapter goes out to SeddieFan...author of a story similar to this one, but with a lot more Seddie fluff. It's called "iWant to Help You", and I highly recommend it. If you decide to read it, be sure to review and say PSYCHEER330 SENT ME!!!!! lolzzzzz I'll be putting the link to all these stories I recommend on my profile soon.**

**Read, review definately, and most importantly...**

**ENJOY!!!!!**

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Chapter 5  
Battle

"Hey," Sam told Carly as she walked through the front door.

"Hey. Did you find your bag?" Carly asked, looking around for the bag Sam supposedly went to get.

"Um, no. I think I left it in my locker. No big deal…I don't do my homework anyway."

"You really should do your homework, though," Carly informed.

"I don't do useless things," she replied with a smile. They both laughed, and Carly roled her eyes.

"So, I'm taking it that you _didn't _tell Spencer about what you think is up with Freddie?"

"I told you five minutes ago that I wouldn't!" Carly corrected.

"Alright, alright! Calm down. But, you have to admit, you do have a problem with secrets…"

"What do you mean by _problem_?" Carly asked, getting defensive.

"Well, it's nothing bad, but you do crack under pressure," Sam continued.

"No I don't! That's the dumbest thing I've heard yet!"

"Yeah. _That _explains why you handled my changing the grades and Freddie and my kiss _so well_," Sam replied with a little laugh.

"I don't crack!" Carly said.

"What ever keeps a smile on your face and a knife out of my back."

They both took a moment to stare at each other. It was not long before both shared a good laugh.

"But, seriously, I didn't tell anyone except you, and I'm not going to tell anyone until Freddie admits it," Carly assured.

Sam stopped her laughing, looked at Carly for a while, then said, "What do you mean by you won't tell anyone _until after he admits it_?"

"Well, I'm not just going to sit there and let him hurt himself. As soon as he admits it, we're going to tell the counselor." Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. Carly just said this like it was nothing, then she got up and went to the kitchen.

Sam got up as well, and told her, "What are you going to do if Freddie makes you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I'm still going to tell the school counselor. He needs help, Sam. No one who cuts themselves on purpose is in the right state of mind. They need to talk to someone." Again, Carly said this like it was a no-brainer.

"So, you would betray his trust like that?"

"I'll be doing what's best for everyone."

"Like what? Breaking his trust in you, and going to do something he wouldn't want behind his back?" Sam confronted.

"Sam, anyone who cuts themselves needs help!"

"Anyone who cuts themselves needs time to clear their mind and come out when they're ready!"

"Well, there's no time like the present," Carly concluded.

"And suddenly that's for _you _to decide?" Sam asked, getting angrier by the comment.

"Well, since this involves me, yes it is for me to decide."

"Since when does it involve you?" Sam asked.

"Since I found this razor that dropped out of Freddie's pocket!" Carly answered.

"You don't even know if Freddie is cutting himself! He could've had that for a million reasons. And, if he is cutting himself, it has nothing to do with you. It's between him and whatever is making him cut," Sam corrected.

"How do you know I'm _not _a reason for his cutting? How do you know _you're _not?" Carly confronted.

"I just know certain things…like I _know _Freddie isn't hurting himself!" Sam yelled, getting less angry and more defensive.

"Oh yeah? Well, if you know everything, then why did Freddie have a _razor _in his pocket?" Carly asked, crossing her arms.

"I don't know! But I _do _know he's not hurting himself. And back to you telling the couseler…why would you betray his trust like that?"

"Sam! I don't know if you realize this, but he can kill himself! Once cut too deep, too close the a vein, and neither of us will ever see him again… I'll be doing it to save his life."

"So, you'll be doing it to call yourself a hero?"

"I never said that!" Carly was now the defensive one.

"Well, it sure sounded like that. And you also don't have to be giving me all these death lessons…I know a lot more on the subject then you think."

"Whatever. And, you know what, I'm glad this all happened. Now, I know I can cound on you when I'm about to die to go get me help!" Carly yelled sarcastically.

"Well, I've learned a bigger lesson. I know I can cound on you to keep my secrets to your grave." Sam was about to walk out, but then another question came to her mind. "Also, what will you do if you confront Freddie and he denies cutting?"

"Then I'm still going to the counselor," Carly answered, walking toward Sam. She was still talking like this was all a no-brainer.

"Why would you do that?" Sam came closer.

"Because he'd be lying. And even if he wasn't lying, Freddie still needs help! No one without some kind of problem carries razors around in their pockets!"

Carly was about to leave the apartment to escape the fight, when Sam said, "What if he's holding it for someone?"

Carly slowly turned around, suspicious look on her face, and she asked, "And who would he be _holding _it for?"

"I already told you. I. Don't. Know. I don't have all the answers, but I know for a _fact _that Freddie is NOT hurting himself on purpose," Sam concluded.

"You know, for someone who doesn't have all the answers AND for someone who doesn't care about Freddie, you sure are acting all defensive of this subject," Carly accused.

"Or maybe, for once, I know a few more things then you do. You're not the only one with tricks up your sleeve, and it looks like it's time for me to start pulling them out," Sam said in Carly's face, and she was out of the apartment in the blink of an eye, leaving Carly standing at the door.

This fight just left a million questions unanswered.

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**I hope you all enjoyed it!!! I don't know why, but I've always wanted to write my own little version of a Carly/Sam fight. This was definitely the chapter I've had the most fun writing so far. I hope you enjoyed, and remember to REVIEW, ALERT, and FAVORITE. I try to reply to all my reviews (if I hadn't SOWWY!!!!) and I usually say that an update is coming soon so story alert so you can know when that happens. Well, now I'm telling everyone what. STORY ALERT SO YOU CAN KNOW WHEN MY NEXT UPDATE IS!!! And, of course, the only way to story alert is to REVIEW!!!! Well, at least that's what I know.**

**Until next time fellow Seddie Warriors,  
~PSYCHEER330~**


	6. Chapter 6: Guilt

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly**

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N: Due to popular demand, I've updated twice in the same day!!! This goes out to ALL my reviewers. I'm just so...happy. This story has been called addicting, seductive, and one of my readers even told me they dream about this story. I'm not using names unless those people didn't want me to post that, but I'm completely flattered. Love you all and hope you enjoy. **

**Remember how Sam said she "has tricks _up her sleeve_"? Lol a little play on words there. Well, not literally, but here you get to see just how vicious Carly and Sam can get. There had to be a lot of editing done in this chapter for some reason. I really don't like stories that are too OOC, and the original writing for this chapter really made Carly seem vicious and Sam seem weak. Obviously that's not the case on the real show (although Carly can get really vicious in those fights). Well, either way, I had to do some revising on that part. Sorry if it still seems very OOC!!**

**Review, Alert, Favorite, and most importantly  
ENJOYYYY**

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Chapter 6  
It's Not Care It's Guilt

The next day at school could not come fast enough for Sam. She had to get to Freddie before he made a huge mistake. Anything he said to Carly would be taken the wrong way; she couldn't let that happen.

She raced through the front doors of school and, of all people, knocked into Carly

"In a hurry to go kill someone?" Carly asked.

"In a hurry to go lose a friend?" Sam bashed back.

"Nice. You know, I always thought violence was more you, not girlie smash talk."

"Are you asking for a fight? And eighter way, I have better things to do that fight with _you," _Sam answered.

"Stop!" she said and grabbed Sam's arm to spin her around. "Give me the razor."

Knowing she was in a hurry, Sam took the razor out of her jacket pocket, through it on the ground by Carly's feet, and said, "Fine, take it. Like I said, I have better places to be then here."

* * *

She ran over to Freddie's locker just minutes before the bell rang for homeroom. Once she found him, she asked, "Freddie! Did you talk to Carly today?"

"Nope. Haven't seen her. And, I have a whole story as to why I had the razor..."

"Forget it! Forget _all _of it. This whole thing was a terrible idea," Sam told him.

"Why? What happened?" he asked, closing his locker and standing up to meet Sam's face.

"Last night, Carly and I got into this huge fight. To get straight to the point, she make it perfectly clear that she is confronting you about the razor, and no matter what you say, she's going to the counselor."

"What do you mean by _whatever I say_?" Freddie crossed his arms.

"I mean that she's completely convinced that, whether you cut or not, that anyone who carries a razor in their pocket has problems."

"Well, what happened after she made that all 'perfectly clear'?" he asked.

"I almost confessed, but I stopped myself. I know this sounds selfish, but I am _not _sitting in a counselor's office three times a week. I also doubt you'll want to be in that position either," Sam answered.

"So, what's happening now?" he asked.

"Well, I figured that, if she tells, no one has any proof. There was no one except you guys in the room when she found the razor. There's no proof."

"Where's the razor now?"

"Just before I came here, Carly demanded it back. For all she knows, we can go to the counselor right now and say Carly has a razor. Cutting is another story on account of lack of scars, but..."

"Hey, hey, I don't think it has to go that far, Sam."

"Well, I _can _say that no one here is getting in trouble except for me. I've dragged you in, and I promise I'll get you out, ok?" Sam assured.

"What's with the sudden caring?" he asked smirking.

"It's not caring. It's guilt."

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed that! I know it's short, but I really felt like continuing. No idea why, but I'm loving making Carly's character look like a total bitch these days. Probably because of all the iSaved Your Life Creddie promos streaming the Internet. Well, for every Seddie fan reading this, Seddie WILL happen. But, as of now, Freddie is in love with Carly. Creddie needs to happen so he can realize that Carly isn't the one for him...Sam is!!!**

**Yup, just a little my point of view thing on Creddie/Seddie madness. Hope you enjoyed the double feature lolzzz.**

**Review, alert, and also remember to read iWant to Help You by SeddieFan. Leave a review that says Psycheer330 SENT ME!!!**

**Until next time  
Fight On Seddie Warriors,  
~PSYCHEER330~**


	7. Chapter 7: Fight

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly**

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N: I didn't get very many views on my last chapter :'( (crying face). So, I'm putting this one up in the _morning _instead of...well...midnight. Hehehe. I'm actually kind of in a bad mood right now, so I took m anger out on my writing. You'll see. Oh! And thanks SO much to SeddieFan (again HI!!!!), xXVampRomancexX (again HI!!!!), and SimplyJeanette for leaving me the sweetest comments ever!!! No favoritism there, but their comments just really brightened my day =D **

**Review!!! PLEASE!!! I'm BEGGING you ALL to review. PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!! I'll give anyone who reviews this chapter a virtual cookie!!! And once I get 60 reviews, you get chapters 8 and 9 at once =DDD**

**Review!!! and ENJOYYY**

* * *

Chapter 7  
What's With the Fighting?!

It was the end of school on that same day. Sam was standing alone at her locker when Carly came up to her and said, "Hey."

"Hey?" Sam asked, confused.

"Yeah, hey!" Carly replied with a smile eye to eye. "Look, Sam, I'm really sorry about the whole fight thing that happened these past couple of days. We're both free to have our own opinions."

Sam didn't know what to say to this, so she just asked, "What made you want to apologize _now_?"

"This whole mess has just been stuck in my head all day, and I really don't want another fight like the last couple we've had," Carly said sincerely.

"Fine."

"So, we're friends again?" Carly asked, taking a step forard.

"Yeah. Apology accepted," Sam sighed, no emotion in her voice.

Carly didn't seem to notice, and just went on in her happy mood. "Great! Want to come over to my house?"

"Why not?" Sam replied, and they left as soon as the bell rang.

* * *

  
The next day, everyone was at the apartment and talking as if nothing had ever happened. No fight. No razor. No confrontations.

"Hey, guys," Freddie said, coming in.

"Hey," Sam and Carly said in unison.

"Hey, Carly!" Spencer called from another room. "Can you come help me?"

"Sure!" Carly put down her drink, and ran up the stairs to find Spencer.

"So, I'm guessing from this get together you and Carly made up," he said and sat next to Sam on the couch.

"Made up or stopped fighting? I guess it's the same thing."

"Well, it sounded to me like you guys made up completely," Freddie replied.

"Sounded? What did you hear?" Sam asked with a shocked voice.

"Oh, yeah. Carly and I talked yesterday..." Freddie said, not knowing what to expect next.

Sam stood up in a hurry, looked over at Freddie, and asked, "What?! What did she ask?! What did you _tell _her?!"

"Ok, first of all, _calm down_! Nothing concerning 'a certain sharp' thing came up in the conversation. All she told me was that you guys had a fight and now you made up."

"Thank _God_," Sam breathed and sat back down.

"But, you know, I have been thinking. From what you told me, maybe Carly doesn't have that bad of an idea..." Freddie said.

"What do you mean?" Anger was growing in her voice.

"I mean, that you told me that Carly wanted to tell the counselor and all this stuff. Well, maybe you should go to the counselor. It might help," he explained.

"I don't need help!" she stood up and was now screaming.

"I'm not saying you need it! But, it might be good for you. You've seemed...shakey ever since I found out. And BE QUIET! They're right upstairs!" he continued, standing up as well.

"Maybe I'm so _shakey _because you gave Carly my razor, and I can get found out _any day now_!!!" she said.

"You _know _that's not the reason!"

"What is it with everyone and_ fighting _with me?" she asked, heading for the door.

"What's it with you and starting the fights?" Freddie asked.

Sam didn't even answer and walked out the room angery.

* * *

A few minutes later, Carly came back down the stairs to find Freddie sitting on the couch all alone.

"Hey, where's Sam?" she asked.

"She left a few minutes ago," Freddie replied angrily.

"What fight did you get into this time?" she asked with a smile.

"Nothing."

"Ok, then. So, we're alone?" Carly asked.

"Yeah," he replied, still mad.

A few minutes passed of awkward silence when Carly said, "Um, Freddie?"

"Hm?"

"Ok, just to get straight to the point...I can't take it anymore. Why did you have a razor in your pocket a few days ago?"

He didn't even have to think, Freddie just stood up and said, "I can't _take _this anymore," and he turned to leave.

"Freddie, wait! Please answer my question! I'll get you help, I swear!" she ran after him.

"Sadly, you have the wrong person."

"Huh?"

"Go ask Sam. She'll know _exactly _what you're talking about." And he was gone.

* * *

**Hey, yall! Hope you enjoyed, and remember: 60 comments then you get the next two chapters at the same time!!! Tell other people, etc etc**

**Until 60 comments,  
Happy Reading**

**3 3 PSYCHEER330 3 3**


	8. Chapter 8: Telling

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly**

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N: Thank you all SO much for the awesome reviews!!! Four hours after I updated asking for 60 reviews, I already had 58. To me, that's really good =D A promise is a promise. Here are ya'lls two chapters together. This chapter goes out to Ace5492. She told me she'd dedicate her next chapter to me, so I'm dedicating this chapter to her!!**

**Enjoyyyy**

* * *

Chapter 8  
Telling

"Hey, Carly! Who's here? i heard the door slam," Spencer said as he came down the stairs.

"No one came in. Freddie slammed the door shut," Carly replied, walking towards Spencer who was now in the kitchen.

"Why did he have to slam the door?" he asked.

"I don't know! There's _so much _going on now, and I'm SO CONFUSED! Help me!" she begged.

"What's going on with everyone?"

"I can't tell you! A million promises were made and I don't even know how many were actually kept," she said as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"Well, if you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you," Spencer explained.

Carly thought for a few seconds, then said, "Fine. I'll tell you."

Spencer sat down across from his little sister at their kitchen table, and Carly tried to explain everything in as few words as she could.

"Ok, so a few days ago, Freddie dropped a razor from his pocket. I thought he was a cutter, and I mentioned this all to Sam. Then Sam and I had a fight abut whether or not I should tell. Then we made up. Then I talked to Freddie but not about cutting, and everything was fine. Then for some reason she and Freddie got into _another _fight. I don't know why that happened. Then Sam and the door went BAM. Then I asked Freddie if he was a cutter. Then he told me to talk to Sam. Then Freddie got mad at me and the door went BAM. And here I am alone and crying to you for help. What should I do? What should I do? _WHAT. SHOULD. I. DO." _She was actually crying now, her words jumbled up and hard to understand.

"You used the word 'then' a lot."

"Spencer!"

"Ok, ok. That was just a joke. The first thing you need to do is calm down. Now, let's see. There's Freddie's pocket and a razor and fighting and BAM and 'then's. I'm confused at what's happening here," Spencer said.

"Freddie dropped a razor that I found. I thought he was a cutter and told Sam about it. When I told her I was going to tell an adult, she got all mad. Then we made up, and now Sam and Freddie are in a fight for some reason I don't know about. i just asked Freddie if he was a cutter, and all he told me was to talk to Sam and that she would know what I'm talking about," Carly explained, her voice a bit more clear.

"Oh. Well, do you know for sure who is the cutter and who isn't...or if there even is a cutter?"

"Freddie was the one with the razor, and I don't know anything for sure except he has this blood-stained razor in his pocket a few days ago." Carly walked over to her purse on the couch, got the razor out and tossed it onto the table for Spencer to look at.

"Well, it was right for you to come to me as early as you did. Anyone can die if they get their hands on this. And...what about Sam?" he asked.

"What _about _Sam?"

"Well, Freddie told you that Sam would know about what your talking about. If you want answers, maybe Sam knows if Freddie is a cutter or not."

"But, they hate each other. Why would they talk about something like that to each other and not me?" Carly asked.

"I don't know, but if she knows anything, she's more likely to tell you than Freddie. And we can't get anyone help until they admit it," Spencer said as he got up, leaving Carly sitting alone at the kitchen table...thinking of plans for the next day.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed. Sorry I can't chat...gotta hurry up and type the next chapter. Writing as we speak. Please no messages saying thingss like WHERE IS CHAPTER 9?!?! etc etc**

**REVIEW**

**~PSYCHEER330~**


	9. Chapter 9: Voices

**Disclaimer: I don't on iCarly**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: This is a truly deep chapter. You get to see a lot of what goes on in Sam's head...or at least what goes on in this story =D**

**Enjoy**

* * *

Chapter 9  
Voices

"Sam," Carly said, walking towards Sam, "we need to talk."

"Yeah. Look, sorry I left in such a rush yesterday. Freddie is such a dork," Sam replied, closing her locker and turning to face Carly.

"It's ok, but that's not it. Um, ok I'm just going to come right out and ask," Carly told herself.

"Well, you better _come right out _not. The bell's gonna ring in a few," Sam instructed.

"Tell me everything you know about Freddie and that razor."

Sam stared, not knowing what to say. But, she knew she had to give a reply, so she said, "What makes you think I know anymore than you told me?"

"Because, yesterday after you left, I asked Freddie if he cuts, and he got so mad and told me to talk to you. He said that you would know exactly what I'm talking about," Carly answered.

Sam breathed, that's the only noise she could let out. On and on in her head, she heard the same thing over and over. _He lied. He promised he wouldn't. He let your secret go. Get him back. Get REVENGE._

"Just tell me if he told you that he cuts, PLEASE. We can't get him any help unless he admits he has a problem. You're the closest thing we've got if he told you anything," Carly pleated.

Sam thought of what to do. It was as if that little opportunity for revenge was brought to her on a silver platter. _Should I take it? Should I leave it?_ Her time was running out. Carly was giving her that look...the look that said _I need an answer NOW!_ Without even fully making up her mind, she spoke.

"Yes. He told me he was cutting himself. Go tell. Go tell the whole world, Carly," Sam said and walked away as fast as she could, not even waiting for a reply.

_What have I done? I promised I wouldn't let this happen.  
Well, Freddie promised this wouldn't happen, too. He let me down.  
It was just a fight, aand he didn't _really _rat me out. I ratted him out for something he didn't do.  
_He_ broke a promise.  
_I _broke a promise.  
How can I ever forgive him...how can I ever _forgive myself?

Her inner demons completely drowned her mind in thoughts of guilt, sorrow, and anger as she walked. For the first time ever, she truly felt alone...even though she was surrounded by people in those crowded school hallways. As a last resort, she walk into the bathroom where she literally was alone, pulled out the compass, she used for math, pulled up her sleeve, and made the voices in her head stop.

* * *

**I'm sorry these chapters are so short, but I got those 60 reviews FAST. In fact, now I have 62 I believe? Thanks to all my reviewers, and I hope you enjoyed this look into Sam's head.**

**Happy Reading,  
~PSYCHEER330~**


	10. Chapter 10: What Now?

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: Hey, guys. Sorry it took so long for this next chapter, but it's a REALLY good one. I actually had writer's block the past day or so. So, I wrote this chapter in bits and pieces, and, somehow, it fit into a chapter. Please don't bash if it seems...off. Because, I really did write this chapter backwards. Where as, I'd usually just write everything at once, spell check then put it up. This one took a LOT of editing, but I took a few hours of my day just for ya'll. So you're thankful and REVIEW!!! lol**

**Enjoy...I think you will =)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 10  
What Now?

Freddie saw Sam walking out the school…he was right in front of her.

_Well, it's now or never…and it better be now before something else goes wrong. _And he ran after her.

"Sam! Wait up!" Freddie yelled, jogging to catch up with Sam.

"I'm definitely not in the mood to talk right now…especially not to _you,_" Sam said continuing to walk.

Freddie finally caught up with Sam, faced her, and said, "Look, us fighting isn't going to make this whole situation any better. Can we all please just try to get along before someone ends up in counseling?"

Sam continued moving. Freddie was walking backwards in front of her. She was obviously not in the mood. "Maybe you didn't hear me. When I said I didn't want to talk to you, I meant it. Now, get out of my way before I move you myself."

Freddie got on the side of Sam and continued walking at her fast pace. "Well, at least tell me what so wrong that I can't even talk to you!"

"That's for me to know and you to wonder," Sam said in that annoyed voice she always got around him.

He stood still as she walked on, and said, "So, you can talk to me about all your cutter business, but not why I'm suddenly on your bad list without doing anything?

She stopped walking and turned to face him in one swift move. She took a few slow steps towards him, and said, "Talk to you? Why would I do _that_? I _can't _trust you, Carly, or _anyone_."

"What do you mean by that?" Freddie crossed his arms.

"I _mean _that you told Carly about me. And _don't _try to lie. She told me herself," Sam ordered.

Freddie just looked down at his feet ever so slightly, hands in pockets.

"So, what? You're not going to try and deny it?" Sam asked.

"No. It's true. But, I _didn't _tell anyone!"

"Then why did Carly ask me if _I _knew anything? Why did she tell me that you told her I would know something?!" Sam yelled.

"Ok, fine, maybe I 'suggested' to Carly that you'd know something, but I didn't tell her anything important!" Freddie promised.

"Oh yeah? What did you tell her _exactly?_" Sam asked.

"She asked me if I was a cutter, and I told her to ask you what you thought. But I was really mad at you then," he defended himself.

"Well, I was really mad at you, too. Let's see how it all makes _you _feel!" and she continued walking.

Freddie stayed behind and called out, "Well, what do you mean by _that_?!"

Sam turned to look at him and said, "Go ask Carly. She'll know _exactly _what I'm talking about." And she was gone, leaving Freddie and thoughts he didn't want to be right about.

* * *

"Hey, Carly, where're you going?" Freddie said, catching up to Carly. The school day was just about to start.

Carly turned to face him. At first, she wasn't sure what to say, but eventually told him. "Look, Freddie. I know; Sam told me everything. I know you guys have been talking secretly and everything."

Freddie looked down, but he knew Carly was expecting an answer. So, he answered, "I'm sorry, ok? It was just so no one would end up in trouble or counseling or anything like that."

"It's ok, but I'm making sure right now no one gets hurt anymore," and she walked on.

"Where are you going?" Freddie asked as he followed.

"I'm telling the counselor you cut, and I have Sam to back me up. She told me you cut and everything," Carly said. "I don't care if you try to stop me. This could kill you! You can't stop me."

"Wait! I _swear _I'm not doing anything like that!" Freddie swore.

"Yes you are! Sam told me that you told her you were a cutter. Don't lie; it'll make things a _whole _lot easier," Carly pleated.

"I'm not lying! You know me; I _can't _lie. Plus, you know Sam even better…this wouldn't be the first time she's lied…" Freddie pointed out.

"Well, why would she lie about _this_? There just isn't any reason for her to," Carly continued.

"Well, she lied! Here, look!" he said and he pulled up his jacket sleeves. "Nothing! No scratches; no scars; no nothing. And much to my sadness, not even hair," he joked.

"Cuts and scratches can heal," Carly pointed out.

"But scars don't."

"All that proves is that you didn't cut deep enough to scar."

"Ok, come _on, _Carly. You saw the blood on that razor. There's no way anything was cut, lost _that _much blood, and a scar wasn't left," Freddie explained.

Carly just looked at the floor, not sure which way to turn.

"If you don't believe me, fine. But, before you go turn _me _in, you might want to check what 'things' Sam has up her sleeves," Freddie said, and he left.

As he walked away, Freddie thought _Well, I guess I have some explaining to do._**Hey all!!! Hope you liked that chapter. Sorry if it seemed OOC or out of order or anything like that =D Again, I had writer's block, and I wrote this in bit's and pieces...not intended to be a chapter. But, it all worked out ;) Review if you have: suggestion, comments, editing help, or just a good word =D This chapter goes out to all my awesome reviewers. I'm not using names, but you all are really awesome!!! **

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**Till Next Chapter,  
3 3 PSYCHEER330 3 3**


	11. Chapter 11: Couldn't

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N IMPORTANT!!!: Ok, guys, I know I haven't updated it like 3 days, and I'm SOOO sorry!!! =) The problem has been my schedule. I'm so busy!!! Monday I started school again. After school Monday, I had cheer practice until 5pm, then a game to cheer at until 8, then I got home, did homework till 10, along with other things every normal person does at night =/ then went to sleep around midnight only to get up at 5:30 and, of course, do that EXACT thing over again. No joke. Then, Wednesday, I had cheer practice till 4:30 then had to go home, get ready, then come back to school for 6:30 for the Football Banquet (football players and cheerleaders ^_^) only to be home at 9, do homework, and well you know the drill. **

**But, today I had no homework due until Monday. So, I updated!!! Please no haters :'( I love you all and I tried 8-DDDDD So, I won't keep you waiting. Here's chapter 11.**

**Review and Enjoyyy**

* * *

Chapter 11  
I Just Couldn't

Freddie walked out the building, thinking that same thought over and over. _Well, I've got a lot of explaining to do._

When else was there to think? This time, he actually _did_ break his promise to Sam. Freddie knew he had to come up with something to protect both him and Sam. _I honestly can't believe I'm actually feeling this guilty about it._

"Freddie! Freddie wait!" Carly was running out to the school, trying to catch up with Freddie.

He turned and waited for her to reach him. Then, she continued with, "Is it all true?" She was shakey and out of breath from running all that way. But when Freddie didn't answer, she managed to push for an answer. "_Is it?!"_

"You know, there are so many things _it _could be, I really don't know what the answer is," Freddie relied.

"Is what you said about Sam true?" Carly asked, looking a bit more sympathetic.

He pondered for a second to try and come up with a solution. _I was just so guilty about spilling, even if I don't know why. I'm fixing it NOW._

"Ok, look, the truth is that no one is cutting, ok?" he started.

Carly was so confused that she interrupted him. "Wait! Then why did you and Sam tell me the other one cut?"

"Put it this way. We both got into a fight and tried to make the other one get into 'trouble', but I'm done with all this. Sam isn't self harming and neither am I. I swear if you look on either of our arms then there will be no cuts."

"Then where did the razor come from?" Carly asked.

"I honestly have no idea. It either isn't mine, or someone put it in my pocket as a joke," Freddie convinced.

Carly thought about this for a moment. She was about to accept it until yet another question came into her mind. "Then how could you know how much blood was on the razor?"

Freddie's eyes widened. "Huh?!"

"When you told me that there was no way you could've cut with no scars, you referred to 'all that blood' on the razor. How'd you know how much blood was on it?"

"You gave it to Sam. Sam showed it to me. I wasn't lying at the fact that she and I talked about it," he explained.

Carly just couldn't take it all in. She took a deep breath and said, "You know what, I'm so tired of all this that's going on. I'm just going to take you're word for it and let it all go."

"Good. That's where it all belongs." They smiled at each other. "Well, I guess I'll go find Sam and tell her that you know there's no actual cutting going on."

"And, um, I should probably go get the razor back from Spencer," she said with a guilty laugh.

"What?!" Freddie exclaimed.

"Don't get mad! I needed help knowing what to do...so I told Spencer everything and gave the razor to him. Sorry!!!" Carly said nervously.

"Just make sure he knows _nothing _is going on!"

"I will! Bye." and she was gone.

* * *

He walked a little further down the street, and he saw Sam just sitting alone on a bench, staring into the nothingness of the empty streets of Seattle. Freddie walked silently up to her. Once he reached her, all he did was slip his hands into his pockets, and say, "Hey."

She did nothing except slowly turn her head so their eyes could meet. Instantly, Freddie saw noticed something strange: there was absolutely no emotion in Sam's eyes and face at all. No sadness; no anger; just emptiness.

After that one look, she averted her face and stared at the ground once again. The streets around them were completely empty except for the usual coat of Washington rain covering the gound. There was silence.

"Can I sit?" Freddie asked, trying not to show much expression in his voice.

His question was answered only by Sam's scooting over to make, just barely, enough room for Freddie.

They sat nest to each other, staring different ways, and the silence continued. _Now or never _Freddie continued to think.

"Ok, um, first off, everything is fixed," Freddie broke the silence.

Sam looked up, still no emotion on her face. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean Carly was about to turn me into the counselor for cutting. She told me you told her straight up that I did. But, I don't care; we were boh mad, and I sort of did the same thing," he explained. "But, it's all over. I convinced Carly no one was cutting, and she believed me. I guess all the stress and confusion got to her, and she broke."

There was still silence. Sam stared forward, thinking to herself, and Freddie did the same until continuing with, "And, it wasn't a lie. I mean, you stopped, and I wasn't ever a cutter." Silence. "So, are we cool?"

Sam just averted her head to look the the other direction, and Freddie tried to see her face. When he finally gave up on that trying, he simply looked the ground and said, "I guess we're not cool."

Sam turned her face to look at him to reveal just a few single tears streaking her face. "It's not true," she said quietly, then put her head back to facing the ground.

"What's not true?"

She sniffled just a bit, and managed to go on with, "I couldn't take it anymore. I blamed everything on you then just walked away. The voices in my head were killing me." She said this all quietly as well, and her tears got slightly heavier. "I felt so much guilt and anger and...frustration all at _myself..._I just couldn't do it."

She folded her arm, leaned back in the bench, and continued to cry, tears still light, but getting heavier by the minute. Freddie didn't know how to handle this, so he just sat and stared in silence.

"Are you ok?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Now."

"Can I ask, like, how deep and stuff?" he asked, trying not to show overwhelming concern.

She just pulled up her sleeve, and gave him her left arm. One hand held her wrist, the other stroked across each frest scratch made. Sam continued to cry, light, yet emotional.

She took her arm back after about a minute.

"It's ok, you know," Freddie commented after a minute more.

Sam turned her face to look at him. The tears had stopped, but her eyes showed the slight redness of crying.

"What does that mean? You're not gonna tell?" Sam asked.

"You were right when you told all that stuff to Carly. It's your secret, not mine, Carly's or anyone else's. It's for you to determine who knows, and for you to come out and get help when your ready," Freddie answered.

Sam looked down, softly smiled and looked back at him. The only answered she could come up with to fir this moment was, "Thanks."

Freddie smiled a bit, too, but then he continued, "But, this doesn't mean I've changed my mind about _our _first fight. I still think you should tell someone."

One again, Sam looked back at the ground. "I don't think I've gone far enough yet...in my mind that is," Sam explained. "I don't think I could handle the world knowing the girl who can beat up anyone has trouble handling stress."

They both shared a laugh at that sarcastic, yet strangely true, comment.

"Well, it's like I said, it's you're choice. I'm not going to tell anyone, but I suggest you do."

There was silence for another few moments. Few cars passed, and neither person said a word until Freddie said, "Well, I kind of have to be home. So, see ya, and, you know, good luck with it all." He patted her on the shoulder, and was off.

Sam watched him as he walked away, then looked down with a little smile. These last few moments with the person she was supposed to hate were the first few times she'd smiled in a long time.

* * *

Carly opened the door and entered her apartment that same day to find Spencer in the kitchen doing 'who knows what' with milk bottles.

"Hey, kido. So, what happened today?" he asked, putting everything down and walking towards his little sister.

Carly put down her backpack on the couch and said, "Oh, nothing. Just a million confusing things."

"Oooo. Did you find out if Freddie had any problems?"

"Well, I talked to Sam, and she told me she thought Freddie was a cutter. But, he explained the whole thing to me. There's nothing wrong," Carly explained, a smile on her face.

"That's good. Um, what should I do with this razor then?" he pulled the razor off the kitchen table.

"Just give it here I guess. Might as well give it back to it's owner," Carly determined.

"Bad idea. You can get in a lot of trouble with one of these things," Spencer explained. "Look, I'll give it to you. Just, please, promise me it gets thrown away..."

"Promise. He, um, said he planned to do that anyway," Carly put on what seemed like a guilty laugh.

"Ok. Gotta go to the store. I need more milk cartons!" he said, heading for the door. He was obviously excited about his new sculpture. "Oh, and good to hear Freddie isn't cutting~" he called out as he exited the door.

"Yep, Freddie has nooooo problems," Carly replied.

The door shut.

"But Sam might....."

* * *

**Hope you liked it. School tomorrow, but none Monday. Will be updating as much as I can this weekend!!! byeeee 3 3 3**

**~PSYCHEER330~**


	12. Chapter 12: Especially You

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: Hey all! So, tonight starts my 3 day vacation! (Thank you Martin Luther King!!!) I LOVE this next chapter. Not much at he beginning, just an overview, but there's Seddie fluff at the end! Even though this story is basically supposed to focus on their friendship growing into something, I just couldn't resist =) **

**Also I have a favor to ask pleeease. If you know me pretty well, you'll know I'm obsessed with the Twilight Saga. (No bashing please. I know some of you don't like it, and I respect that. So please respect me). Well, I wrote a story for Twilight. There link is on my profile. Anyway, it's in Edward's point of view, and it's about what I think happened in Edward's mind that first time he watched Bella sleep. Please Please Please, if you get the time, please go read and review that. Right now it's sitting lonely and unread with one review. It'd mean the world to me and get you a special mention =DDD thanks**

**And without further wait.**

**Review, subscribe, and**

**Enjoyyy**

* * *

Chapter 12  
Especially You

The next few days went by quickly and quietly. Few talking about the last few days went on as a whole group. iCarly practices were kept short and to the point, and anything sharp was usually kept out of the conversation.

Carly spent most of these days just thinking to herself, thoughts running a mile a minute in her head. At this point, she really didn't know _who _the cutter was, or even if there was a cutter in the first place. But, she was almost positive it wasn't Freddie. _He just doesn't seem like the one to cut, and I could tell he was telling the truth that day outside _she always thought when putting together clues. Another thing she thought was the chances of Sam being the cutter. _She just acts so...anxious whenever I bring up the subject. She also has reason. _But, at the end of the day, Carly just couldn't bring herself to confront anyone of the subject. Another whole week like the last few days was just something no one could handle.

Freddie and Sam also remained pretty unsocial, but they did occasionally talk outside iCarly business. As of then, Freddie was the only one Sam could actually go to who some what understood. Whenever she felt like she was going to go over the edge, Sam either vented to Freddie or tried as hard as she could to suck it up. Sometimes, though, not even talking it out could stop those voices from pushing Sam over the line.

Freddie tried to help as much as he could. Before these last few days, Freddie would have never cared about anything Sam was doing. However, these last few days suddenly made him care _a lot _more. Not exactly in a romantic way, but, for once, like they were actually close friends.

"Here," Freddie said during one of their latest conversations.

"What is this?" Sam asked, taking an elastic band Freddie was handing her.

"It's a rubber band," Freddie said. They both actually laughed a bit at the sarcasm.

"Ok, wrong question," she was still giggling a little. "What I mean was what is it for?"

"Snapping."

"Um, snapping?" Sam asked, confused.

"Yeah. You wear it around your arm. Whenever you feel like, well you know, you snap it on your wrist," Freddie explained.

"How is that supposed to work?" she asked doubtfully.

"I don't know, but I heard it works," he continued. "Worth a shot?"

She thought for a few second, then said, "I guess it's worth a shot."

The snapping actually did help. For some reason, Sam now found herself on the computer looking for therapy techniques; things like squeezing an ice cube, yelling into a pillow, and much more. The snapping worked to a point. But, obviously, that didn't always work.

More day went by. Carly continued her wondering and searching. By the end of the week, she finally made her final decision. _Sam is the cutter, but I need proof. _Carly made a personal promise that her suspicions would stay just that, personal, until she actually got proof. She began looking for little changes in Sam's natural behavior that could possibly show signs of cutting. This, however, wasn't so easy. Sam always wore long sleeves, but that didn't matter considering it was winter _and _they were in Seattle. Sam also never snapped in public, never cut in public, and tried her best to keep in her usual violent, comic, yet happy mood.

* * *

"So, did the band work?" Freddie asked Friday in the hallway at school.

"To a point," Sam sighed. "Don't get me wrong, it helped a lot. But, sometimes, talking is what I need to do. Sometimes, I just need that action of hurting. And...sometimes...cutting is just what my brain tells me to do."

"Well, I'm here if you need to talk," Freddie offered.

"Heh. I know. I've kind of been doing that a lot lately," Sam laughed.

"You know, I think the last week is the longest you and I have gone with no fights or insults, or...physical harm," he pointed out.

"Well, a good fight is always interesting."

"Is that why you constantly hurt me? For something interesting?" he asked.

Sam knew he was only joking, but she took it a bit more serious then intended. "I'm _sorry_," she said.

"I didn't mean for you to take it...well badly," he responded apologetically.

"I _know _I can...be like that. Sometimes its funny. But other times, I see that I really hurt you, and, well, that's where some of my...scars come from," Sam explained quietly.

"Freddie stopped walking and turned to face Sam. "Don't even cut yourself because of me. It's not worth it."

"Why do you care?"

"Look, no matter how much we fight, I still consider you one of my best friends," he told her. They continued walking.

"That's...surprising."

"How? You don't consider me a friend?" Freddie joked, putting on a fake "puppy pouting" face.

San laughed and replied, "Hey. That's not true. Only _I _can mess with you."

"Well that's...assuring." They both laughed some more.

"Can I...ask a few questions about...you know...?" Freddie continued.

"Well, I'm telling you everything. So, why not?"

"Explain a little more about why you cut."

Sam gave him one of those looks that screamed 'REALLY?!'

"Please?" he asked.

She laughed again and answered, "Ok, then. Um, basically when I can't take the stress I get. It's...the only pain I feel like I can really control. Other times, I feel like I need to punish myself. There isn't really anything else I can explain on that topic..."

"Ok, one steriotype to be answered. Suicidal?"

"No. I mean, sometimes I ask myself stuff like 'am I worth living', but I convince myself I am." The conversation was getting more serious.

Freddie stopped walking and faced Sam again. "Never think that. Everyone is worth living."

"Even me?" Sam asked with a smile.

"Especially you."

* * *

**I hope you liked it!!! Once again PLEASE review this and go check out that Twilight Fic. It's called _The First Real Sight. _Hope you enjoyed, and Story Alert so you can know when I update next =D**

**~PSYCHEER330~**


	13. Chapter 13: Damaged

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: OMG guys I feel SO guilty. I know I PROMISED many chapters to come the last 3 days. I'm SO sorry, but I have a good excuse! I put some fake nails on Saturday. I tried to type, but it was HELL, so I gave up. Then, I was going to take them off, but I got invited to a party for Sunday. So, I just decided to keep them on for the party. Then, Monday, my mom broke her rib. I had to go with her to the doctor at 9 frickin AM, got back at 1, then had to be ready for cheerleading practice by 2 which went on will 6. Then, I got home around 8 and I had to do all that random stuff any normal student does before going to sleep on a school night. If you know me, I'm nocturnal. I stay up till 4am and wake up at 1pm whenever I get the chance. I literally got SO tired of those nail, I completely chewed them off in Algebra class today, and I don't even bite my nails!!!! lolzzz **

**Well, anyway, this chapter starts out on the beginning of next week, a Monday. i have no idea what day they do iCarly, but in my mind, it's a Friday. They usually have school when they say 'check out out show tonight' and then they usually don't have school the next day. So, I say Friday. What do you think? Thanks REVIEW and**

**Enjoyyyy**

* * *

Chapter 13  
Damaged

The silence that came after the group's final fight lasted continued. Sam and Freddie continued to have their comforting talks. Carly continued to looked for any little sign of Sam being depressed or generally out of character. Of course, Sam gave nothing for anyone to be suspicious of. Frustrated, Carly would always try a little harder every day, but with no luck.

Sam and Freddie continued to have their talks. In fact the talks seemed to become more frequent, and not for the reasons you'd expect. Sam started to notice that more and more of their talks came because she _wanted _to talk to him...not because she needed someone to vent to as a last resort.

Freddie didn't noticed these talks to be more frequent, but he did find himself to be enjoying them more and more. The subjects were expanding to, not just Sam's triggers, but their problems with life in general. Some conversations, however, went better than others.

"So, what happened?" Freddie asked, sitting next to Sam on a street curb. They were waiting for the late bus to come pick them up for school. Freddie noticed Sam wasn't being as talkative lately, so he asked what was up.

"Nothing worth talking about. Snapping worked and all is forgotten," Sam sighed. "So, what's going on with you?"

"The usual stuff. And a little advice for you: don't let Carly catch you acting all depressed. That'll just be helping her with her little 'quest'," Freddie suggested.

"Don't worry. I'm being careful. But, I can't help but wonder _why _she's 'looking out' for me," Sam said puzzled.

Freddie thought for a little bit, then concluded, "Well, this is just a hunch, but I think she didn't totally believe me when I said that stuff to end this whole war."

"What?! Why are you telling me that _no_w_?!" _Sam yelled, grabbing him by the shirt.

"I just thought of it now! Before I didn't even think about it!"

Sam pushed him back and rested her head in her hands. Then, she said, "Whatever. I don't think it really matters anymore. Even if she didn't know about cutting and stuff, she would have figured it out eventually."

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

Sam shrugged her shoulders, then answered, "I guess she just knows me that well."

With a smile eye to eye, Freddie rested his head in his hands as well and commented, "Yeah, she's amazing."

All she could do was give hinm a weird look. "Hey! Don't get all mushy-Carly-loving on me. I'm not exactly _into _that stuff."

"Oh, come on. It's not like you never liked anyone."

"Yeah? Like who?" Sam challenged.

"Jonah."

"Turned out to be a joke."

"Shane."

"Never went out with him."

"Pete."

"Yeah. That lasted a total of, what, a day?"

"Ok, so _that _part of your life hasn't been great. It hasn't been great for any of us. It doesn't mean you've never liked anyone," Freddie pointed out.

"That may be true, but it proves 'that area of my life' completely blows. Sorry if I don't want to _talk _about it," Sam got defensive.

"Nothing to be sorry about," Freddie said. There was an awkward silence. "Let's just change the topic."

But, there was no time. The bus had already come, and they couldn't be seen _having fun _without anyone suspecting something was up.

* * *

"Hey guys," Freddie said approaching Sam and Carly talking in the hall before class.

"Yeah. I have to go." Sam said.

Freddie took her place across from Carly and asked, "What's up with her?"

"I don't know. We were just talking when you came and she said 'gotta go' and left," Carly answered.

"Are you sure nothing happened to _make _her leave?" Freddie asked.

Carly pondered this for a moment, then answered, "Now that I think about it, she was acting 'jumpy'."

Freddie thought for a moment, too. He said, "You know, now that I think about it, I gotta go, too." And he was gone.

"What's with everyone ignoring me today?!" Carly called out behind him.

"Later!" he waved back.

_I hope that whole things with Sam has nothing to do with out conversation this morning _Freddie thought.

* * *

****

Hope you enjoyed it. More chapters to come. REVIEW, and if you're a Twilight fan, remember to check out and review "The First Real Sight". More info about that in A/N in previous chapters.

Until next time,  
~PSYCHEER330~


	14. Chapter 14: Walk Away

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: OK, guys. SO sorry about the delay on this chapter. What happened was I've had TOTAL writer's block ever since I posted the last chapter. In fact, as soon as I posted chapter 13, I got right to typing up chapter 14...a blinking cursor for SO long. Well, I took a break from this story for a little while and started up on a new story. I haven't published it yet, but I will one this story is actually over. I'll tell you all about it down there...lol in my foottag author's note thing. Anyway, I partially got over my writer's block just now. My brain's still a little out of it, but it's not so bad to the point where I couldn't finish this chapter. Let's just say this chapter went through A LOT of revising and editing before it got as close to my image as possible.**

**I think the whole writer's block came because...as soon as I posted the last chapter, I had EXACTLY what I wanted to write for this chapter all planned out in my head. Well, I usually don't do that. I just play it by ear. The whole planning thing really shook up my head. Well, I'm in much better shape now because, well, I have no idea what's coming up in the next chapter XDDD**

**I won't keep yall waiting any longer. This chapter picks up right where the other let off. OH! and before i go, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review people. I only go like 2 for my last chapter and I'm really sad. That might have also had something to do with my writer's block. So, the next chapter will come when I get 115 reviews. This chapter goes out to the 2 people who actually DID review last chapter: InvadorJohnny and MeBeLucy. Luv you guys!!!!! THANKS and**

**Enjoyyy**

* * *

Chapter 14  
Walk Away

Freddie moved down the hall, swift, fast, and trying to not make it seem like he was a hurry. The truth, though, is that he was. He was in a hurry to find Sam, of all people, to make sure she wasn't having an "emotional breakdown". From what Carly had described about what just happened, Freddie was expecting the worst.

At last, he found her. She wasn't really doing anything except standing around, head against a random locker and staring at the floor. He didn't know what to do. _Does she feel like talking here...with all these people? Or should I just leave now. _Freddie thought a little more about what to do, but then he concluded to just go up and talk to her. _It's better to at least know for sure whether she wants my help or not. _

He slowly approached her, unsure of whether or not he was doing the right thing. He waved at Sam and turned to face her. He leaned against a locker just as she was and asked, "What's up?"

"Nothing," she replied timidly, shaking her head as she spoke.

A silence fell between the two in the noisy hallway, mainly because Freddie was unsure of how to comfort her in this particular situation. After all, this was the first time in a while Sam was triggered by a conversation with Carly...and at school of all other places.

"Carly...told me about what happened. She said you just walked off," he explained, keeping his voice low.

Sam continued to shake her head lightly. "I just couldn't take it anymore."

"What you mean?" he asked.

"It's never been this bad. I mean, I know Carly is suspicious of me and all, but she was just pushing it _so _much today!" Sam growled.

"What exactly did she do?" Freddie wondered.

Sam crossed her arms, stared into his eyes for a second with that annoyed look she usually had on, and explained, "Put it this way. The subtlest thing she said today was 'why don't you take off your jacket. It's kind of hot in here.'"

Freddie didn't know how to answer that, so he just stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry," he answered after a while.

"It's nothing to be sorry for. I mean, it's my fault and all. I asked for it. Blah blah blah," Sam said, starting to walk forward.

"No, it's not ok," Freddie told himself, and he walked off as well.

* * *

"Oh, hey," Carly happily told Freddie as he approached her. It was the end of the day now, and Freddie and Carly were talking over by the lockers.

"Hey," he managed to choke out.

"What's wrong? You look....kind of mad," Carly asked, concerned but still giggling a little.

"Maybe that's because I am 'kind of mad'?" Freddie answered, imitating Carly's voice when saying 'kind of mad'.

"Why?" Carly asked, closing her locker and facing Freddie.

"You don't believe me...do you?" he shook his head.

"What'd you mean?" she asked, confused.

"I_ mean _that you didn't believe me when I said there was nothing up with that..." he leaned in closer and whispered, "razor."

Carly just stared at Freddie, eyes wide and mouth speechless. She soon realized she would have to say something, so she replied, "What are you talking about? Of course I believe you."

Her tone wasn't very convincing because Freddie replied, "Then how come you keep 'checking on Sam'?"

"What do you mean by 'checking on Sam'?" Carly asked. Now, she truly was confused.

"It seems like you've been looking for those little signsof her cutting. I _told _you no one was cutting! So, why don't you believe me?" Freddie crossed his arms.

Carly sighed and said, "I _do _trust you. It's just..."

"Just what? I didn't make a convincing enough argument? You lied? You have actual proof Sam _is _doing that stuff?" Freddie fired.

"You know what. Maybe it's all three. Maybe it's none of them. Either way, don't you think this is more between _Sam _and _me_?" Carly pointed out.

Freddie just shook his head and said, "Not when a friend tells me how upset she is," and he walked away, leaving the conversation at that.

* * *

**Hey again! So, to that fic I wrote when I had writer's block...I don't have a name for it yet, but the summary goes something like this: It's finally the Winter Formal, the dance of the year. Sam wasn't planning to go until Carly pulled a few strings. What happens when she admits to Carly that she likes someone else, and that is why she planned not to go? Also, what happens when it's time to 'dance with the person you didn't come with'? Will Seddie happen? Will Creddie happen all over again? Or will someone run out crying? Read to find out!!!**

**If you'd be interested in reading that, please message me!!! Thanks and remember: 115 reviews then the next chapter!!!**

**Until next time.  
~PSYCHEER330~**


	15. Chapter 15: Runaway

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: SOOO sorry this took so long to put up, but here it is! Plus I have a GOOD excuse this time. First though, I want to take just a few minutes to talk about something that's been brought into my train of thought lately: Is this a true Seddie Romance story or not. Well, there is no doubt that it is a Seddie story. But, it was never my intention to make it a Seddie ROMANCE. This story revolves around Sam and Freddie's friendship growing as he helps her overcome a major problem in her life. And, along the way, they may develop feeling, but that part is really for the reader to decide. I try to give those subtle hints that let YOU make the choice of how they feel about each other. **

**In my opinion, on the show, I NEVER would have thought Seddie would EVER happen based on the first season. I mean, they genuinely HATED each other. But, as time went on and especially after iKiss, they're friendship started to grow over all their fighting. And, even when they DO fight, it seems to me like it's more of a playful tease. Personally, I think they don't like each other as of now (on the show). I think the most going on right now is Sam having feelings for Freddie she isn't completely aware of yet. As for Freddie, he is still not over Carly yet. He needs to be 100% over her before a healthy Seddie relationship can ever start to happen.**

**Now, back to my story, I got a request from Briyze to put more romance in this story. Well, that isn't what what my story is around, but if the public wants it, I give it. I rewrote this chapter to put some more romance into it, but I will tell you that you'll have to look for it (not that hard =D I mean it's SEDDIE). My story isn't based on their romance despite the catagory it's under. They're friendship has to grow just a BIT more until a relationship can truly be brought into either this story of the TV show.**

**These are all my opinions. Please don't bash the story if you don't agree. PLEASE review. I'm going for 135 before my next chapter. And, also, this just goes to show you that I DO take advice and requests from my readers.**

**Enjoyyy**

* * *

Chapter 15  
Runaway

After school that day, Sam went over to Carly's apartment not ecpecting the surprise she was going to get.

"Hey," Sam said, walking into Carly's apartment.

"Hey," Carly replied with a voice that sounded like she wasn't paying attention.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked concerned.

"Huh?"

"You seem a little...out of it. You know?" Sam answered.

"Maybe _that's _because of all the drama we've been having lately..." Carly answered, anxiety obvious in her voice.

Carly walked around the room. So, Sam turned to her and asked, "What do you mean by _drama_?"

Carly was trying to hold back the comments that were literally being _pushed _out her mouth. _Don't let it out, Carly! Remember, you have no proof yet, _she told herself.

"Just...some stuff that Freddie told me yesterday..." Carly answered. _There, that wasn't revealing anything too.....important._

Sam got the wrong idea in her head, and she quickly asked, "What did he tell you?!"

"Oh, you know. Just...stuff," she replied with that phony laugh you put on when you're guilty.

"I figured _that _much. What kind of stuff?"

"We just got into an argument...that's all," Carly answered, trying to sound as innocent as she could.

Sam just stared at her. _I think I know what the fight was about. _Just to make sure her thoughts were right, she asked, "Well, what was this argument about?"

"Look, it has nothing to do with you. If it did, you _know _I'd be the first to tell you," Carly promised, stepping closer to and putting her hands on Sam's shoulders. "You know that, right?"

Carly looked straight into Sam's eyes in that _we're best friends, you HAVE to believe me _kind of way. _Oh, great, she's giving me the puppy put stare. _"Yeah, I know that," Sam said in a flat voice with no emotion.

Carly simply dropped her hands, said, "Good," and walked away into the kitchen with no further word.

Sam turned around to look after her and said to herself, "But that doesn't mean I believe you_." _And she left the apartment with no intention of turning back.

* * *

"Hey," Freddie said. trying to catch up with Sam.

It was the next day at school, and Freddie was in somewhat of a better mood than he was the day before. All the drama from yesterday just hit him so suddenly that he didn't know how to react. He ran to catch up with Sam, then he asked, "What's up?"

Sam turned to face Freddie, sighed, and replied, "Nothing. Nothing at all...you?"

"Nothing," Freddie sighed as well. They both turned and walked down the busy hallway side by side. "How are things going with the...you know?"

"Fine. Fine. No need to worry. I haven't done that in days, and I don't think I will any time soon," Sam replied assuredly.

Freddie laughed a bit at the sarcasm in her voice, then replied, "Well, I'm just checking. How are things with Carly?"

"I talked to her last night, actually..."

"How'd _that _go?" Freddie asked.

"Well, she told me all about how you both had a fight yesterday," Sam said, trying to sound convincing. She turned her face away to try to hide the smirk on her face.

Freddie suddenly got serious, and he said, "Reeeally...."

Sam turned to face him, smile still apparent, and sarcastically laughed saying, "Yeah! She told me _eeeeeverything_."

Freddie chuckled in return and replied, "Ok, now what _really _happened?"

"Well, long story short. She seemed out of it; I asked her what's up; and she told me how you two had a _huge _fight yesterday. I don't know what it's about, but she promised it had nothing to do with me," Sam explained, and she stopped, leaned against a locker, crossed her arms, and suspiciously continued. "Somehow, I don't entirely believe that. Should I?"

"I wouldn't if I her you," Freddie smiled and leaned against the lockers as well.

Sam slid her back down the lockers, sat, and hugs her knees, and Freddie followed these actions right behind her. Then, Sam said, "So, what happened exactly?"

"I...can't tell you," Freddie answered.

Sam giggled a little then asked, "......why not?"

"...because...I might get incredibly embarrassed with what I said," he explained, laughing a bit as well.

"How can you be embarrassed about a fight?" Sam asked, getting confused.

"Because, in my opinion, I made a complete idiot out of myself over something that didn't need my idiocy," Freddie said.

"Come on!" she gave Freddie a punch on the arm. "It can_not _be that bad. I mean...it's a fight."

"No!"

"Come on come on come on," she said over and over as she shook his arm. They both started laughing, but Sam kept pushing.

"Ok, OK!" he he pushed her hands away. "I'll tell you!"

He said nothing for a while, so Sam said, "Well...?"

"I...yelled out at the top of my lungs 'not when a friend tells me how upset she is!'" he explained.

"Um, how is that embarrassing?" Sam asked, confused.

"You had to be there before. I was _totally _getting up Carly's butt about how she was 'looking' at you and stuff," Freddie continued.

"I still don't see how that's embarrassing, but it sounds like it was incredibly nice. So, thanks," Sam smiled.

"Well, you're welcome, but it's like I said. You had to have been there. It sounds like I was defending my g.........,"

Sam shook her head, and became even more confused than she had all week. "defending your what?" She pushed for him to continued.

Before anything else could happen, the bell rang, and Freddie jumped up as fast as he could. "Homeroom! Sorry!" and he rushed off.

_Ok, then. No idea what _that _was about _Sam thought, and she walked in the other direction to her own homeroom class.

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**Please REVIEW!!! 135 and then chapter 16 which should be a JUICYYY one!!! Sorry if there are typos!!! I had to get this in ASAP!!!!!**

** PSYCHEER330 ~**


	16. Chapter 16: Does He Knows!

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: OK, guys! Here is chapter 16 finally! I love you all so much, that I settled with 133 comments and put this chapter up. Now, I know it's a pretty short chapter, but I want to know if you guys like the way I'm turning the story. If not, I'll rewrite this chapter. First, before I go on anymore, this WHOLE chapter is thanks to the one and only LiveLoveDanceLaugh!!! Thank her for the development of this chapter!!! She gave me the entire idea. We through ideas out, and this chapter was born!!! She is also the AMAZING author of on of my new favorite fics, iHurt. It's about Sam getting abused, and Freddie comforting her. So, as a special thanks to her for helping me make Chapter 16 happen, I'm not uploading another chapter until her story iHurt gets 10 new reviews all from YOU GUYS that say "Psycheer330 sent me!!!" It really is a great Seddie fic. I guess I just have a thing for stories where Sam gets hurt, and Freddie comforts her. I think it's SO cute. But, if you like this story, you'll love hers. A lot of Seddie fluff.**

**Now, onto what this chapter is actually about. I'm telling you NOW that this next paragraph contains spoilers. If you don't want that then skip down......ok so LiveLoveDanceLaugh gave me the idea of Sam getting triggered. I asked her how, and one of her ideas was someone noticing her cuts and confronting her about it. So, I thought, "what about Gibby?" Some people wanted me to throw Gibby in the story, and why not? The fans demand it!!! lolz. So, yeah.**

**NO MORE SPOILERS!!!  
PLEASE review both mine, and GO CHECK OUT iHURT by LiveLoveDanceLaugh!!! You get chapter 17 of this fic once she gets 10 reviews saying "psycheer330 sent me!!!".**

**Enjoyyy**

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Chapter 16  
Does He Know?!

Sam walked through the door to homeroom and sat in her assigned desk. _Finally! Somewhere Carly isn't! _Sam thought to herself, sitting back in her seat and taking a giant sigh of relief. She was finally in homeroom, a place Carly, as well as a giant crowd of people, were no where in sight. She was finally free to let down her guard ever so slightly with out a major chance of getting caught with scars or a depressed look in here eyes.

Sam flipped off her sweatshirt and took yet another well deserved sign of relief. _GOD! Why does it have to be so hot in here? _she asked herself, and with good reason. It was winter up in Seattle, and all to heaters were on in the classrooms with no switch to turn them off. There were, however, air conditioners to turn on, but the one in their classroom was out. So, it averaged about 79 degrees F.

Sam through the sweatshirt on her desk and rested her head on in, gathering her thoughts in that one moment of piece.

In homeroom, Sam sat right next to Gibby. If Sam was in a good enough mood, they would usually talk. If she wasn't, then, well, the outcome is better left unsaid. Gibby turned in his seat to find Sam smothering her face in her sweatshirt, saying absolutely nothing.

_Yeah, that's definately not like Sam_. Her pondered his own thoughts for a moment as well, asking himself whether or not he should ask Sam what was up_. Well, it couldn't hurt _alllllll _that much just to ask._

He took a deep breath, tapped on Sam's shoulder, and waited for her to turn around. All Sam did was pick up her head, and rest it on her sweatshirt all over again. This time, however, she was facing Gibby.

"What do you want, Gibby?" she asked sounding more tired and annoyed than mad.

"Are you ok. I mean, I don't wanna like, intrude. But, you looked, like, sad and depressed," he asked in his normal Gibby voice.

Sam just kind of stared at him thinking _PLEASE don't let this be a Carly repeat. _Her heart raced, and Sam didn't know how to reply. So, she just...didn't reply.

"I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I was just trying to be a good friend. I mean, we are friends...a little. I mean, I mean, oh please don't hurt me!" Gibby panicked, wishing he could take back everything from the moment he tapped on her shoulder.

"Oh my GOD, Gibby, just _stop! _I'm not going to hurt you. I just really don't feel like talking," Sam barked, head never leaving the desk. "And, that _depressed _look you claim I have is me being tired. Got it?"

"Got it! Got it! Just you being your usual, lazy, tired self!" he said, chuckling as he said it.

Sam stared at him again, not angrily in that _watch out _kind of look, but actually a little hurt.

"Sorry! Forget I said anything!" Gibby said, panicking again and hiding his face in his hands.

"Calm down! I'm not going to _do _anything to you. Why do you just assume that because I don't answer you that I'm going to hurt you?" Sam asked, annoyance, guilt, and hurt all barely even noticeable. All that practice around Carly had paid off.

"Force of habit?" Gibby said unsure, shrugging his shoulders and innocently smiling.

Sam turned to face forward and lay her hear down on her sweatshirt once again. She took in a breath, and she let her mind wander off into space, not intending to continue the conversation.

Gibby turned to face Sam and try to apologize. But, when he saw her sitting in the depressed state once again, he decided to just leave it all be. Gibby was about to turn around again when he noticed little marks on her arms. He squinted his eyes to get a closer look, but Sam switched positions, leaving him unable to see.

_Well, they could be anything, _Gibby thought, and he left the conversation at that.

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**I know! I know! This is a REALLY short chapter. But, I want to know if you guys like the direction this is headed in. Well, do you??!! Comment this AND iHurt by LiveLoveDanceLaugh if you want chapter 17!!!!! Thanks again girl!!!**

**~psycheer330~**


	17. Chapter 17: Hysterical

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**A/N: I'M SOOOO SORRY!!!!! I know. I know. I haven't updated in weeks. It's been CRAYZEE!!!! And I'm going to cut this author's not a bit short so you can get to reading. But, first just know that this is a CRAPPY chapter. I had a really good one all planned out...then the computer switched the page and it all got erased. I was SO pissed that I just rewrote it really short and..well...there's no other words to describe it other then crappy and shitty. Sorry for all the profanity, but I am REALLY pissed. Hey, I rated this T for teens....mainly because of the author's notes. They're my blogs. Lolz.**

**Please don't review this crappy little chapter. The next one will be AMAZING PROMISE!!!!**

**Enjoy...or not. Just Read!**

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Chapter 17  
Hysterical

The bell rang, signaling the end of second period. Lunch time. Sam walked out the classroom and to her locker where she saw Carly putting books into her own locker.

"Hey," Sam said as she passed.

Carly turned to see Sam walking by and replied, "Oh hey. Ready to go get lunch?"

"Sure," she replied.

Just as they walked down the hall to the cafeteria, Gibby came up to Carly, handed her a notebook, and said, "Thanks for letting me borrow your notes."

Carly simply took it and replied, "No problem, Gibby."

He was about to walk away when he turned to Sam and asked, "Hey Sam, what was with the...."

Sam instantly knew what was going to say and started waving her hands and mouthing "no" over and over.

Gibby stopped what he was saying, glared at Sam, and realized this would all end badly if he didn't stop. As soon as Sam realized Gibby knew to stop, she started pointing at Carly and mouthing "Carly can't know".

Gibby looked back and forth and a hysterical Sam and confused Carly.

"Um, Gibby, are you ok?" Carly asked, concerned if he was having some mental malfunction.

He simply replied, "Riiight," and left.

Carly turned around and asked, "What was up with _that_?"

Sam simply shrugged her shoulders, and they left for the cafeteria.

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Freddie sat at a table in the cafeteria waiting for Sam and Carly to get there. He noticed them coming in. Just as he was about to wave, Gibby came up and hurriedly asked, "Freddie quick. Sam has marks on her arms. Any idea where they came from?"

Freddie got really nervous, then he turned to see the girls about to reach the table. In a hurry, he began laughing histerically and said, "HAHAHA! Gibby! You are so FUNNY!"

He just looked at Freddie confused and asked, "How is that funny?" just as Sam and Carly reached the table.

"How is what funny?" Carly asked.

"Nothing! Nothing! Inside joke! Bye, Gibby!" Freddie said, still histerical, and Gibby left.

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**Sorry you guys had to endure that! I love you guys and the next one will come out SOOO much better!!!**

**3 3 Psycheer330 3 3**


	18. Chapter 18: Sunken

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Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N: Ok, guys! Here's the actual chapter 18! I'm replacing my little WHO DAT author's note with this. No use keeping it since the SAINTS WON THE FREAKIN SUPERBOWL!!! Anyway, I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter! As soon as you read, you'll see why =D Also, I'll be rewriting that crappy little chapter 17. I'm in a better mood now, so I feel bad about taking my anger on my story ='( Oh well, be on the look out for that. Review, alert, and**

**Enjoyyy**

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Chapter 18  
Sunken

Carly turned to watch Gibby walk away then turned to Freddie and asked, "What was _that _all about?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all!" Freddie said, hysterical smile still planted firmly on his face.

"Um, ok then," Carly replied, putting her lunch down then standing back up. "I'm going to go get a fork. Anyone need anyth..."

"No, nothing at all," Freddie cut her off, still speaking in his awkward voice with that insane smile.

"Um, alright," and she walked away, very weirded out.

Sam turned to see Carly walked away, then asked, "Dude, what up with the face?"

Freddie lowered his head, then whispered, "I have a better question. Why does Gibby know about your cuts?"

"How did _you _know that?" Sam asked shocked, lowering her head to meet his.

"Wait! You knew?"

"Yeah! He asked me in homeroom, but how the hell did _you _know?" Sam asked, still whispering.

"He just came up to me and asked what I knew about it, but I played dumb," Freddie answered. "And just what did he ask you?"

"He only asked me what they were in homeroom, then again just a few minutes ago. But, I stopped him before Carly suspected anything," Sam replied calmly.

Freddie stared at her disbelievingly and asked, "I don't get it...how can you be so cool about this? I mean, Gibby almost just _blew _your secret to Carly."

"Well, he didn't. I worried enough in homeroom for the day, and I don't feel like anymore. It just might be enough to trigger."

"As long as no one knows the truth, I guess it doesn't matter what Gibby suspects," Freddie explained.

"You know, I've been thinking, what is wrong is some our close friends, like Gibby know. I mean, as long as he doesn't tell anyone, especially not Carly, it wouldn't be a threat," Sam suggested.

"No! Believe me...that's NOT a good idea. No one can know," Freddie warned quickly.

Sam looked at him confused, then asked, "Why do you think it's _so bad _if anyone knew. I mean, if they promised not to tell..."

"I say it's no a good idea because people lie...they can't know!" Freddie explained.

Sam lifted an eyebrow at him and pointed out, "_You _know."

"Yeah..." Freddie say with a sarcastic laugh, "but _that's _different."

She just gave one of those "oh yeah?" looks and replied, "Really? How?" and she leaned in closer.

"Well..... _I'm _not going to tell anyone," he said, coming out as a little arrogant.

"Riiiight. You know, we've been down this road before..." Sam said, putting on a little smile.

"I said I'm _sorry_!" Freddie replied quickly.

"Dude, calm down. I'm kidding," Sam said, putting her hands out in a defensive way.

They both laughed a little as Carly returned to the table.

"What's so funny?" she asked. "Are you telling her that big joke between you and Gibby?"

Freddie continued laughing as he said, "No, no, sit. Don't be _jealous_," he teased.

Carly simply sat and rolled her eyes at his flirting.

Sam crossed her arms, sat back in her chair, and rolled her eyes. _Annoying._

School was finally over, and the hallways were nearly empty...except for a few people...

"Hey," Freddie called out as he met up with Sam at her locker. "How did the..uh...rest of your day go?"

As she turned to see him, her eyes brightened up. "Fine," she answered with a smile.

"And Gibby?" he continued with his question.

"Was in my fourth period class and didn't ask anything about...you know," she replied.

"Good. I hope nothing...triggering happened," Freddie commented. Other than seriousness, all other expression whiped off his face. This is what usually happened when they talked about her future cutting.

"No. Thing have been...pretty good," she continued to smile.

Freddie smiled himself and said, "Good."

Before anyone could say anything else, Freddie heard a car horn honk and immediately knew it was his mom.

"That's my mom... better go," he said, turning to leave. "Remember, iCarly rehearsal this afternoon."

"Kay," was all she replied.

Then, Sam was completely alone in th big, emply hallway. As soon as she heard the doors close, she sank to the ground with her back sliding against the lockers. _It's not...it can't be, _she thought.

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**Hope you all liked it!!! DEFINATELY some Seddie fluff in there. IDK why, I just felt like seing how other's would react to Sam, kind of, realizing she might have feelings. Y'all know what I think: that on the show she may have feeling for him but doesn't realize it yet. Well, now she realies it but is denying it. So yeah, I'm gonna go rewrite chapter 17!!**

**psycheer330~~~~~**


	19. Chapter 19: Yet Another Fight

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Enjoyyyyyyyyy

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Chapter Whatever  
Yet Another Fight

"Hey, could you get that?" Spencer called to Freddie from the kitchen.

Freddie walked over to answer the door when Sam walked in and said, "No need. I picked the lock."

"Again?!" Freddie asked surprised.

"Why wait for someone to open the door when you can unlock it self?" Sam asked in a voice that made it seem like she made a good point.

Freddie simply rolled his eyes, and they both went to sit over on the couch.

"Where's Carly?" Sam asked after a few seconds of silence other than Spencer's rustle in the kitchen. He was making yet another sculpture.

"Upstairs setting something up for iCarly. She told me to stay down here," he replied.

Sam simply nodded in reply.

"Oh, great! I'm out of paint!," Spencer exclaimed, immediately walking to the door while drying ofh his hands. "I'm gonna head down to the store. You guys gonna be ok here?"

"Yeah, just an iCarly rehursal," Sam replied, nodding at Spencer.

"Kay, see you guys," he said. Before either could reply, he was out the door.

"So," Freddie began, "I'm guessing nothing exciting happened in the last...well...hour or so."

"Just regular thought racing things that would bore you to tears...." she sighed.

"In the mood for a conversation...or a distraction in your case?" he asked playfully.

"Suuuure. Why not," she replied sarcastically.

He laughed and said, "Ok. So....how's life?"

"How's life? That's the best distraction your techy mind can come up with?" Sam asked, returning the laugh a little bit.

"Well, I'm sorry. I'll try better next time."

They both just took a moment to laugh it all off. But, suddenly, Sam stopped, thought, and said, "Actually, there has been something kind of...on my mind."

"Yeah? What about?" Freddie asked, turning his body to face Sam.

"It's about...what happened today at lunch..." her voice trailed off.

Freddie's face got a bit more serious, and his only reply was, "Uhu."

"Well, what would be so wrong about a few more people knowing?" Freddie's expression tensed, but Sam continued. "Not, like, anyone who I don't know. I just mean people like Gibby. He's our friend. He might be able to help..."

He continued to stare at Sam in disbelief and replied, "Are you crazy?!"

"Apparently," she whispered to herself, but Freddie didn't hear.

He continued, "He just almost told Carly. Imagine if he actually knew the story behind it. Then, it'd wouldn't only be Carly who knew it."

"But, if I explained it to him, I'm sure he'd help. But, I can't exactly _do _that without your help. Gibby isn't exactly that...comfortable...around me," she explained, thinking back on all the trouble she'd caused Gibby in the past.

"No! I'm not going to help you ruin something we've worked so hard to build up," Freddie said, getting up from the couch and storming over to the kitchen.

"Well, fine then," Sam replied, following Freddie as she spoke, "Then I'll just do it myself."

Freddie turned quickly and suddenly as soon as he heard this and yelled, "No! No you're not!"

"Excuse me, but I don't rememmber _you _being incharge of me and my decisions..."

"I'm not 'in charge' of you or your decisions. I just think that..."

"Exactly! You THINK that. But, you can't DO anything about it. It's my life, and I'll live it the way I want to!"

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**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	20. Chapter 20: The End

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, Seddie, or anything. Only this story.**

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N: I am SO sorry it took so long for me to update. I had some things going on the past couple months, but it's alright now. Here is the chapter we have all been waiting for...the end. This finaly chapter goes out to all the people who have ever read, commented, or favorited me or any of my stories. I love you all and you are all the reason that I keep writing. **

**Enjoy**

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Chapter 20  
THE END

The next day took forever to come, but when it finally got there, things were a rush of mixed emotions. Sam and Freddie each had their time to think...about anything.

"Hey," Freddie simply said as he approached Sam at her locker the next morning.

When Sam turned to look at him, all she could to was look at her back into her locker, sigh, and reply, "Hey."

"I'm sorry for trying to...push you...last night into doing something you didn't want to," Freddie managed to cough out.

Sam looked down for about a minute, closed her locker, and looked up at Freddie. She said, "I know it's definately not like me to be pushed around or think of that kind of thing. But, you really don't understand."

"I understand now."

"No, you don't. That's the problem we had last night. You think you understand it all, but you just don't," Sam maintained a calm voice. "It hurts to have to keep such a secret from everyone, especially Carly. I know that her finding out be, well, a disaster. And, I know its very un-Sam of me to say this, but all this lying really does hurt once in a while. I just...wonder what it would be like if everyone knew." By this time, she and Freddie had both slid their backs down the lockers and were now sitting on the ground.

"I know that I was prretty clueless on the whole subject," Freddie said in a hushed tone, "so that's why I tried it myself."

Sam head rushed to the side, eyes huge, and she said, "What! All this time you've been telling me how bad self injury is. That rule applies to YOU, too!"

"Well, it made me feel better..."

"That doesn't matter! You were...clean! I don't know how to put it...but you were okay. Do you KNOW how hard it'll be to stop now?"

"Well, when I'm ready someone can help with that..."

"No! Someone is going to to help you now..." She immediately got up and used all her strength to pull Freddie up and drag him down to their counselor's office.

"Whoa whoa! Sam! Sam!" This time, he actually was yelling, but no one was paying any attention. It was usual for Sam to push and pull people around.

"What?" she yelled as she turned to face him.

"I never actually...did that," Freddie confessed quietly.

Sam looked around a bit confused, then said, "But...the long sleeves. and....you looked so serious...!"

He rolled up his sleeves and showed her his flawless arms. Then, she hit him across the face and practically screamed, "WHY WOULD YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT?"

"Because that's the way Gibby felt when he saw your scars. That's the way Carly felt when she found your razor that I dropped," he explained as Sam looked down. He put her hand on her shoulder sweetly, she looked up, and he continued with, "And that's how I feel everytime I see you like this. I stand by what I said from the beginning. You need to talk to someone in order to stop, someone other than Gibby and me. But, you won't be helped unless you want it..."

Before the conversation could go on any further, the bell rang. "See ya," Freddie said and walked away.

Before leaving, Sam took one look at the counselor's office door, turned and walked away. However, after just a few steps, she turned back and quickly knocked on the door before she had second thoughts.

"Come in," a voice from inside the door said. "What can I do for you?"

"We need to talk..." Sam said as she walked in and closed the door behind her.

From behind the wall, Freddie was watching everything that had just occured. Satisfied, he smiled and walked on to class.

THE END

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**Thank you all for taking the time to read all 20 chapters of this story. I hope you all liked it. Remember to Review! Luvyaaaaa lolz**

**~psycheer330**


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